Greetings, devotees of all things Sketchy!

This week, our endless quest for the world’s great arts and treasures (by which I naturally mean breasts) took us to the far-flung land of Arabia, which I understand is somewhere east of Williamsburgh. It was there that we met the great Sultan Muffinhead.

We found him reclining in his palace, as sultaning is hard work and requires frequent naps. Sultan Muffinhead is a stern but just man, and after several drinks, he agreed to take us into his harem, where he introduced us to his favourite concubine, the beauteous Amber Ray.

The couple then posed for our art students, as is the custom in the Arab world.

There was dancing and merriment, and we smoked the hookah, which is like a pipe with some sort of hose attached.

After several more drinks, the coquettish Amber Ray scandalously let her veil drop.

Later, she removed her top completely, but after the veil scene, we were no longer shocked by anything.

Our gallant artists captured every moment.

Since we were all art-lovers, the Sultan treated us to samples from his own personal collection.

This is a rendering of the famous “nursing” scene from The Book of the Thousand Nights and a Night.

This one was entitled “I Dream of Djinni With the Light Brown Hair.” The artist often got punched when he told people the names of his works.

We were thoroughly smashed at this point, so I do not exactly what was going on when this photograph was taken, but I believe that this is a “rain dance” that is meant to ward off evil spirits.

Time wore on as it so often does, and the time came for us to leave. So it was with heavy hearts we bid farewell to this exotic land of mystery and wonder. Still, we would always look back fondly on the time we spent with the Sultan and the concubine in the Arabian palace.

Then, when they weren’t looking, we grabbed a couple barrels of gasoline and ran.

-Syd Bernstein

Get on point and fluff up the tutus, Dr. Sketchy’s gets all classy with a trip to the Ballet!

With our Prima Ballerina, Amelia Danger! As a personal promise to our readers, I will refrain from making any Nutcracker jokes.

Molly Crabapple and myself. Everyone said I looked “Flashdance” but I was going for “All That Jazz.” Sigh, no one ever understands my complicated costume-based metaphors! *sob*

Amelia is an actual former New York Ballerina Fairy Princess. So she can do stuff like this.

And hold it! I can’t even stand under my own power for 20 minutes.

Like Degas, the Art Monkeys drew the pretty ballerinas. Unlike Degas, they did not crawl into a closet and watch them bathe. Yet.

Faithful And Awesome Art Monkey Eve Butler brought in a huge sack of tutu fabric for our amusement.

This is the classiest prop we’ve had since Inflatable Rape Shark.

Thanks Eve!

Sigh, must these contests always end with a distressing caricature of myself?

Gah, I said no Nutcracker jokes! Damnit!

New Art Monkeys, Mike and Hillary, brought into the fold with the traditional “get toxic shock from ink poisoning” ritual. Ahhh, memories.

And what’s THIS? It’s a fine SOLID SILVER art monkey head by RockLove jewelers! Because it’s not a boozy life-drawing class without hunks of precious metals!

Buy one! Now! Or Else!

Enough salesmanship! On to the drinking contest!

It’s the look of mortal terror I savor the most. It pleases me.

And down it goes! And down we go! Thanks to Amelia Danger! Dr. Simon! Eve Butler! Syd Bernstein! Our New Monkeys Hillary and Mike! And Everyone, everywhere! Join us on May 4th at Lucky Cheng’s for a special All-Male Dr. Sketchy’s! It’ll be Queerific!

-JL