Greetings, Art Monkeys.

On May 8, a very special session of Dr. Sketchy's Anti-Art School was held. Our theme was Jack the Ripper - the 19th century murderer of 5 prostitutes in and around Whitechapel. We hoped to raise awareness that violence against sex workers is still a problem today, especially in recent years, with the so-called "Long Island Ripper" who has killed at least 4 in and around Suffolk county, very close to our home. Specifically, we wished to raise support of the Red Umbrella Project's "Protect, Don't Prosecute" campaign to grant amnesty to sex workers providing information that may lead to the apprehension of this murderer. The Whitechapel Murderer was never arrested, but we want to do all we can to prevent history from repeating.

So, if you are disturbed by these images that photographer Justin Lussier took of Jiz Lee as the Ripper and Stoya as his victim, keep in mind that it's for a good cause.

Damn it, Jiz! Quit being so charming! How can we send an anti-murder message when you're so knavishly handsome?

"The shark, babe, has such teeth, dear
And it shows them pearly white
Just a jackknife has old MacHeath, babe
And he keeps it out of sight."

- Theme from "The Threepenny Opera"

When he shows his teeth, it may already be too late to run.

Our traditional left-handed drawing contest was held, for the prize of a book from Baby Tattoo.

A letter was found in the theatre:

"Lost: One kidney. No value, save sentimental. If found, please return to:
Mary Ann Kelly
6 Fashion Street
Tower Hamlets
London E1 6, UK"

Jack the Ripper was never officially identified (even though it was totally William Gull), but crackpot theories of the killer's identity abound. For our second contest, we asked our audience to come up with their own.

I don't get this one. At all.

Ah! It was a series of suicides using Jack the Ripper puppets! Truly a twist worthy of M. Night Shyamalan!

As Gull would later insist, "It wasn't me! It was the one-armed bandit!

And here we have a twist worthy of Seth MacFarlane.

With a reversal of fortune, our narrative ended. John and I were unable to come up with a suitable contest to cap off the session, so we decided the theme would be furries. Deal with it.

So our tale has a happy ending. Thank you to Melissa, Molly, Justin, Foley, John, Dolcy, Dennis, and Yao.

- Syd Bernstein