With Captain Molly Crabapple on leave, the humble mining ship Slipper Room was left defenseless to alien attack. Of course, it was just then that it was invaded by a ravenous (and ravishing) danteposh from the planet Seksi. It figures.

Yes, in a summer when you can't count on Hollywood to come out with a decent science fiction extravaganza, Dr. Sketchy's Anti-Art School has you covered! Take that, west coast!

As reports of the monster started to pour in, the ship's numerous sketch artists produced renderings of what the creature might look like.

Looking at the drawings that the sketch artists had produced with their left hands (because their right hands had been eaten), Lieutenant John Leavitt noted to his horror that the alien was unlike any lifeform in the ship's database. The ship's database would have to be updated and fast!

Many sketch artists were eaten, leaving behind only the sketches that they were drawing even as they were being devoured.

I know she's a voracious inhuman killing machine, but looking at these pictures, I can't help but feel that we could work it out.

Shortly after hearing of the danteposh, Lt. Leavitt received reports that there was also a Predator on the ship. The Lieutenant was relieved because, knowing of the natural emnity that the Predator has toward the alien, he assumed that the two of them would fight amongst themselves, leaving him to deal only with a wounded survivor.

Instead, the Predator fell in love with the danteposh. After several drinks, the two space monsters' unholy passion was consummated.

In her postcoital repose, the crew seized upon the opportunity to attack the alien. Unfortunately, their weapons proved useless against the monster.

The crew snapped to action and filled out requisition forms for more useful weapons. They prayed that the procurement department would process their requests in time (though they were well aware that the Starfleet was not running a damn supply store).

While the forms were being submitted, the alien laid her eggs.

The crew watched enrapt, fascinated to learn about the reproductive process of a previously undiscovered species.

For instance, they learned that when horrible, unnatural danteposh/Predator hybrids hatch, they are cranky and hungry and will start ripping apart and eating anything they see. Observations such as this should prove helpful to future scientists.

The shipment of laserblasters arrived, but the alien got to it first.

At this point, the crew was royally fucked.

Amidst the panic, Lt. Syd Bernstein took control of the ship. He ordered the crew to remain calm and told them about a band he was getting into called Vermillion Lies. Then he was eaten by the danteposh/Predator babies. The hybrid babies gave no indication of how they felt about Vermillion Lies.

The danteposh put on a funny little puppet show with Syd's skull to amuse her children.

The play was well-received, but critics insist that the plot was derivative and the ending was completely predictable.

Just when the crew thought that nothing that could happen would surprise them, they watched as the danteposh seemed to be giving birth again. This time, instead of a green pod, a horrible, disgusting parody of a biological entity issued from her.

Upon closer inspection, the odious, misshapen thing turned out to be none other than former Alaskan governor Sarah Palin (see this entry for more information). At first, the crew thought salvation was upon them as Ms. Palin seemed to pacify the danteposh with lengthy oral sex. Due to her extensive foreign policy experience, she was able to identify Russia from her position atop the alien's face.

Unfortunately, the cunnilingus only further aroused the monster's hunger. To sate the beast's appetite, Ms. Palin found the ship's supply of kittens and began feeding them to the alien.

Within ten minutes, the danteposh had eaten all of the kittens that had been brought aboard the ship to be given as Christmas presents to paraplegic orphans. Thanks to Sarah Palin, this was going to be the space-orphanage's worst Christmas ever.

Things went from bad to worse when the danteposh found the flock of moosen that were being used as starship fuel. The crew despaired, knowing they would never be able to reach Earth again.

Then the alien took a break. After all, it had been quite a big day for her.

The crew took this opportunity to call upon the Justice League and beseech them to send out Superman and Batman who, as we all know, have experience dealing with aliens and Predators.

The crew realized their error too late. It turns out that Superman is one of them, and being a stinking alien himself, he naturally took the space monsters' side.

As a last-ditch effort, two ensigns drowned their sorrows in drinks from Lt. Leavitt's copious liquor cabinet, hoping that when their bodies were eaten, it would give the aliens alcohol poisoning.

Just when all hope seemed to be lost, Commodore Dante Posh of the USS Hubba boarded the Slipper Room. She made short work of the various aliens and Batman.

That Cdre. Posh is really something. I bet the crew would be eternally indebted to her had any of them survived.

As for me, I am grateful to Melissa, Ruth, Zoe, and John, who did the wonderful set dressing and to Justin Lussier who took the breathtaking photographs. I'll see you next time!