Greetings, Art Monkeys!

For those of you who, like me, have not yet bought a new calendar, I have some news for you: It's a new year! At least it is by the Gregorian calendar, or as we in the Western world call it, "The Only Calendar that Matters." We rang in the New Year the best way we knew how, with a Dr. Sketchy's session scant hours after New Years. Our model was Velocity Chyaldd, the noiresque, pseudoLynchian femme fetale. I say pseudoLynchian, because real Lynch features Kyle MacLachlan or at least Crispin Glover. I'm sorry, that's how I was raised. Justin Lussier, give me some of those photographs that you do so well.

You can tell how good someone's New Years was by how horrible she feels the following day.

Oh shit! Who could have seen this coming? Wait... I looked up what "fatale" means. Actually, it kind of figures.

Velocity's future is so bright, she wears her sunglasses at night. Hey! That rhymed! Maybe I could use it in a song...

Our first contest is the Left-Handed Drawing, in which MIKE is unable to participate.

And THIS is why the magician longs to see. You see? It all makes sense now.

Our second contest was the best evidence of a crime. You would think we would have had at least one severed ear, but no.

Between the machete, the bucket of blood, and the emaciated man hung from the ceiling by his feet, I think there's a strong case here.

Here Velocity is confronted by the skulls of all of the giants she has killed.

This one has a gun...

But this one goes one step further, showing a smoking gun...

And then we have the bloody gun, implying that she stabbed someone with her gun.

Finally, an artist who went in a completely different direction.

No, this brunette woman is not another model. Velocity Chyaldd had a dual role in this session. PseudoLynchian indeed.

In case you were wondering about the tickets, John conducted a raffle for charity. Also, they're probably symbolic or something.

The backwards skull head, on the other hand, is definitely symbolic or something.

Our final contest was the best dream sequence. We even gave you a Red Room to work in.

If you didn't see, it says "Blue Velvet" in the corner. I don't like this guy's dreams.

Cats? Raccoons? Flying squirrels? They can be all of these things and more!

Holy crap this one is awesome!

This one gets extra credit for being the only dream sequence to actually include midgets.

And finally... this. Just... this.

Our prize for the Drinking Contest was going to be Heineken, but Dennis Hopper yelled at us.

And that is it for that session. Thank you to Molly, John, Melissa, Justin, Dolcy, Foley, and the two new art monkeys whose names I wasn't told. See you soon!

-Syd Bernstein